YEAR END REFLECTION

It's already the second week of december, and pretty soon , it will be christmas, and then we will move into  a new year.
It's time to reflect what has happen throught out the year.There has been good times as well as bad time. However the last couple of months has been quite tough money wise. I seems to be spending more money due to my carelessness.  First it was my laptop due to my eagerness to update the software, I end up spending money to get it repair/working again. (read my post here)  Then last week, I went cheras, just because I wanted to support one of the instructor I drove all the way there , got stucked in the traffice for two hours and on the way back, it was raining heavily and I did not see the pothole and then heard a loud bang and my wheel got into a deep hole. After driving a while I knew something was not right as I would feel as if I was driving on a flat tire and I could hear the sound that indicate so. Upon reaching home I did a check and it seems ok so I left it at that.It was late when I reached home anyway and that was nothing much I could do . The next morning my fear was confirmed, the tire was flat,so I drove to the petro station to fill in the air on my tire so that I could drive to work and later to get it check at the tire shop nearby my office. It was discovered the side of the tires was badly cut by the stones (in the pot hole) and had to be replaced,which means both tires. While they took out my tires it was also discovered there was a leak from some pump near the wheel area. Oh boy another cost involved. If only I did not make the trip.I would not have felt so bad if those tires were old, but they were just changed only a couple of months ago.
Oh well, I guess I have to learn from my silly mistakes and hopefully next year onwards I need to be more careful where I want to travel. No more to please people, I need to be practical and choose my destination carefully. I think, shah alam, subang and even puchong should be ok, but Kuala lumpur should not be on my list.
I have also come to term that certain relationship will not heal and it is pointless to dwell in the past. It's time to move on.  On the bright side, I did make some good friends this year and that is something positive.

This is body combat 73 cooldown track(10) I'm just loving it.

The lyrics are so meaniful.

Im only human
I'm only, I'm only
I'm only human, human

[Verse 1]
Maybe I'm foolish, maybe I'm blind
Thinking I can see through this and see what's behind
Got no way to prove it, so maybe I'm lying

[Refrain]
But I'm only human after all
I'm only human after all
Don't put your blame on me
Don't put your blame on me

[Verse 2]
Take a look in the mirror and what do you see?
Do you see it clearer, or are you deceived
In what you believe?

[Refrain]
'Cause I'm only human after all
You're only human after all
Don't put the blame on me
Don't put your blame on me

[Chorus]

Some people got the real problems
Some people out of luck
Some people think I can solve them
Lord heavens above
I'm only human after all
I'm only human after all
Don't put the blame on me
Don't put the blame on me

[Verse 3]
Don't ask my opinion, don't ask me to lie
Then beg for forgiveness for making you cry
Making you cry

[Refrain]
'Cause I'm only human after all
I'm only human after all
Don't put your blame on me
Don't put the blame on me

[Chorus]
Some people got the real problems
Some people out of luck
Some people think I can solve them
Lord heavens above
I'm only human after all
I'm only human after all
Don't put the blame on me
Don't put the blame on me
I'm only human; I make mistakes
I'm only human, that's all it takes
To put the blame on me
Don't put the blame on me

[Bridge]
I'm no prophet or Messiah
You should go looking somewhere higher

[Chorus]
I'm only human after all
I'm only human after all
Don't put the blame on me
Don't put the blame on me
I'm only human, I do what I can
I'm just a man, I do what I can
Don't put the blame on me
Don't put your blame on me

YOU USED TO

You used to remind me
To drive carefully whenever it rain
Or put on something warm on rainy days
But not anymore
I guess love have finally died

You used to texted me at night
to say goodnite
or in the morning to wish
me well
But not anymore
I guess love have finally died

I used to see you to your car
or see you off the door
before we said good night
But not anymore
I guess love had died.

©johnnie lim

so this is the song that used to enjoyed some airtime.

GIVE THANKS WITH A GRATEFUL HEART

As one aged, one treasure what is dear to their heart. I am thankful for my family good friends.(I dont have that many) but for the few that are true and sincere I am grateful.I am happy to have so many hiking friends and lately new rock climbing friends.

My grand children gave me so much joy. I might not have much time and do not know how long I will be on this earth, but for the time that I have as long as God lend me breath I will enjoyed their presence. Of course I am thankful for my wife and children and daughter in laws for their care and love. Not forgething my God daughter as well for her love.Though she may be far away, but will always remain close to my heart. God Bless all of you.

LONELY GOAT YEAR

This is the 2nd day of chinese new year. I don't really enjoyed it as much as I did years ago.I suppose due to some changes in the family.Everyone has their own plan. Even my God daughter  was unable to pay me a visit due to her work. She is in a far away land .Wonder if she is ok. From her short answer to my post, it seems so cold and distant,unlike her normal greetings, full of love and warm.  Nothing I can do except wish her all the best . But I would have appreciate an answer or a clear message what she wants. It would do everyone some good and we can get on with our separate lives, instead of knocking at a door and not getting a response.

I maybe be over sensitive over the whole episode, but I am one who is very sensitive when it comes to things like this. I think lately I feel more than ever there is a wall between some of the people surrounding me. There is one instant where I gave a gift to someone whom I valued very much, but there was not even an acknowledgement which previously was done without fail. 

So I suppose I need to avoid doing things like this in order not to offend people. Well a fool never learnt as they says. That's me. 

Anyway I am very thankful, I am still able to hike and run a bit. The mountain does give me some solace.There I find it so peaceful. While everyone is still enjoying their chinese new year, I think I will go out to enjoy some mountain air tomorow.

To those celebrating the chinese new year. Happy Chinese New Year.  Huat Aah!

I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND IT WHEN....

This post is just a reflection of some of the things that happen to me this year. Since it's almost year end , it's time to take stock of my life, self check, attitude check even .Have I offended anyone without even knowing it?

1)People invite you to visit them. And when you arranged your time and give them a date

they came back and said they are not free on those dates.If that happen not once but twice? What gives?

2) GUASHA FaciaL good for you so they say.Just to obliged and support you said ok. and when you make an appointment, they are busy and promised to get back to you and you wait and wait. I think I will have a full grown beard by now if I don't shave

3)People asked me why I never invite them for a certain outdoor event and when I invited them they never show up. Then there are those who always click attending, but never even change their rsvp when they know they cannnot make it . Wonder if it is so difficult to call up to inform they are not coming?

4)You want to invite someone for lunch or dinner they told you ok you set the date and when you do, they seem so elusive? Why is this so? I just don't understand.

Excuses or just being Lame??

Finally after months of preparation and waiting for the day to arrive, I am quite relieve it is over. I am talking about the wedding preparation and the dinner of my eldest son.  Never reliase there is so much preparation to be done and we would not be able to do it without the help of so many kind souls do assist us. Thank God, it did not put a big dent in our pockets as well. It was a good dinner and it went quite smoothly and I am so grateful for friends and relatives who had taken time off to attend the dinner.  Now I had time to reflect and think  what had transpire over the last few days. Perhaps it is time to evaluated some of the friendship. Despite invitation and enough notices were sent out very much earlier than the dinner date, not many bother about the rsvp part and some of the excuses I got for both the bachelor nite and the wedding dinner were not too convincing.
one response I got was I do not know your son. Since when do we need to know the couple when attending such function.As if knowing the person who invited you is not good enough reason??
Another one only told me he has to be at another friend's pre wedding shoot when I call to ask. what happen if I dont call at all , I will never know.Some were not feeling well. A courtesy call would have been appreciated. Another one was due to a flight delays and could not come back.A valid reason,but if proper planing this could have been avoided. I am not passing judgement just to express my disappointment. I remember when ever I had an appointement or invitation, I will ensure I do not enggage in other activities and if I do have on the same date or on the eve, I will ensure the activity will not tired me  lest I will not be able to make it on the day of the function. Also I will ensure it will be nearby so that I could not be delayed. However I am also happy to note some of my friends and that of my wife's took the trouble to attend the dinner even though they lived in far away(some from another country). One of my friend flew back from singapore after celebrating his mothers birthday in singapore. He left his wife in singapore to accompany the mother. such thoughtful persons.It is occasion like this we know who really value our friendship and who doe not.

MAYBE THIS WAS WHAT I WAS IN SEARCH OF...

My blogger friend Eugene wrote this on his blog Friday.I am in search of...That is part of the title of my blog In search of. which remind me the reason why I had chosen that title for my blog. What was I seeking , what was I searching for.? Would you believe it..love, a little caring maybe?  Now don't get me wrong. I was'nt looking for  that kind of relationship,but rather a father-daugther type. She was just anyman would want for a daughter, friendly and warm and beautiful as well.  Since I do not have a daughter of my own and when she agreed to be my god daughter , I was the happiest man on earth on that day. Of course I could not wait to share the news with my wife.But she was less enthusiastic about the whole thing and caution me to be prepared for disappointment.
This was because my first god daughter had deceided to severe ties , but that is another story which is too personal to share here. I was hoping this time I might get lucky and the relationship might impoved or last. Call  it silly or pathetic but you can blame a guy (who has so much love to share)  for trying can you.? Honestly I am not sure if things have improved or will improve in the future. Our relationship has been like a roller coaster. ups and downs.
Just a couple of day ago another girl came into my life. she called me papa.  Oh no, here we go again.This time I am not going to get myself involved and be hurt later on. Better listen to the advice of my wise wife.