Something funny I read, and would like to share .
Putrajaya, 4 August. Malaysia is set to join the elite club of space faring nations. We will actually go one step further by becoming the first nation to send a man to the Sun.
The Aeronautical and Space Agency of Malaysia (ASAM), the little-known agency under the Prime Minister’s Department, revealed its ambitious plan at the 4th International Conference on Astronomy and Astronomical Space Travel held at the Federal Administrative Centre today. According to the Rector of ASAM (RASAM), Tan Sri Dr Farid Chris Merican, the expedition costing some RM 265 billion, codenamed POMJOM 1, will see a Malaysian flag planted on the dark side of the Sun before the end of 2018. Monyet News Network has learnt that ASAM has been planning this venture since 1998.
“We have the vision, we have the technology, we have the brains. All that remain are to build the spacecraft and find 32 of the finest Malaysians to be the crew. We have six years to do that”, Tan Sri Merican informed more than 100 local and foreign media correspondents gathered in Putrajaya for the conference.
When quizzed by journalists, Tan Sri Merican added “Our scientists have developed our own ASAM’s Jet Amplification & Warp Acceleration (JAWA) technology which will enable our spacecraft to travel at over 124,000 km/hr and reduce the travel time to the Sun to just under 14 months. The JAWA technology is foolproof and we have tested it extensively at our jet propulsion laboratory at Ulu Kinta, Perak. There is nothing to worry. I assure you - we will land on the Sun. And we will prove to the rest of the world that Malaysia Boleh”.
In a subsequent technical briefing by ASAM’s senior ASTRO-scientists, Dr Ananda Krishnan and Dr Latifah Samsuddin, the media was shown the design of the spacecraft, booster engines, flight paths, safety measures as well as the various scientific equipment that will be carried on board the craft. Dr Ananda, sensing sceptism amongst the newsmen, quickly explained “We are aware that many people are sceptical of our ability to land a man on the Sun. We are not stupid, you know. We know how bloody hot the Sun is and we have planned for it. And I am sick of the jokes about travelling at night which I don’t think is very funny”.
Dr Latifah explained the plan. “We are targeting November 2018 because there will be an eclipse of the Sun then. As you know during the eclipse of the Sun, the Sun goes dark which means it won’t be that hot. Nevertheless we will be taking precautions. Our spacecraft will be carrying more than 2 million cubic metres of water and 55 tonnes of ice for the purpose of cooling. Before our spacecraft touches down on the surface of the Sun, the water and ice will be sprayed gradually to induce the cooling of the surface. Ourangkasawans will be equipped with the best protective clothing that money can buy. We will also supply them with our traditional remedies such as the bedak sejuk and herbal tea that will keep their bodies cool. Furthermore, our angkasawans will be trained by Jabatan Bomba to handle fires - as we expect some pretty big fires on the Sun. They will be safe”.
MNN has been informed that most of the angkasawans will be on the surface of the Sun for about 3 days to conduct scientific experiments and collecting rock and gas samples. According to inside sources, one of the experiments will be to confirm whether Ultraman really obtained his special powers from the Sun. There have also been unconfirmed reports that ASAM may also set up a permanently manned research station on the Sun, primarily to investigate the effects of extreme heat on human health.
Meanwhile, ASAM has placed advertisements on all major newspapers and on its website, inviting Malaysians to apply for the 32 places on the POMJOM 1 expedition. “Half of the places or 16 are reserved for religious scholars because we need people to pray along the way so that nothing goes wrong. 8 will be cooks because it is a long journey and our angkasawans have to eat well. Another 4 will be bloggers because the rakyat back home will need to know what is happening on the flight to the Sun”, added Dr Latifah. Application forms may be downloaded at www.asam.gov.my
When contacted by MNN, the US National Aeronautics and Space Agency (NASA), the European Space Agency (ESA) and theJapanese Aerospace Exploration Agency (JAXA) - all declined to comment. MNN received a text message from the Director of Khazakstani Research Institute for Space (KRIS), Dr Hishem Moodyn, congratulating ASAM on their endeavour.
Other related news
The popular South Indian restaurant, Sri Meenatchi Curry House in Brickfields, has filed for an injunction in the Kuala Lumpur High Court to stop the Rector of ASAM from using the abbreviation RASAM. The restaurant has claimed exclusive rights over the term RASAM which is a spicy Indian soup on its menu.
Monyet News Network
LOL!!!
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