What A Frightful Experience.

Last Sunday afternoon saw me again at the Damai Wira Wall which is  near Batu Caves .I was there last march for the rock climbing. Even though I did fairly well compare to my first attempt in march, but I still gets butterflies in my stomach. I think I still could not overcome my fear of height. A day before this outdoor climb I was at the indoor rock climbing gym to undergo my basic wall climbing course. I learnt about the various gears and equipment used for rock climbing as well as the safety requirement for this sport. After a four hours theory and pratice I received my certificate and thus now I am qualify to belay another person who is climbing. I have no problem trusting my friends who belay me when I was at the indoor walls, but I just could not bring myself to trust a machine at the auto belay section and a lot of people tried to convince me it was safe and asked me just to let go of the rope and kick away from the wall and let the auto belay system bring me down.  It took quite a while and after I climb a couple of feet down before I took the plunge   down.. What do you know it hold. On my second attempt during the basic wall climbing I had to use the machine again and I had no choice but to have another go at it , but this time I was more confidence than the first time.
on my outdoor climb, I did manage to  climb to walls, but the third wall I fail to reached the top , I was just a few feet away from reaching the top and  I was grip with fear and my arms was feeling weak and I deceided to give up and request my belayer to lowered me down. Maybe I am just not cut for this kind of  sport.
I can never understand why I do this? Was it because of the thrill or was it because of the company of friends?
I can still manage the indoor climbing, but the outdoor rock climbing is not going to be easy to get use to.
Will I do it again?  I rather not think about it until the time comes.
For those who might be interested to pick up this sport here is a useful link on rock climbing technique.