BEING NICE DOES NOT OFTEN END WELL

Lately I have received alot of requests asking me to organise a hike, or to lead one. Of course I would try my best and always set a date for them. I remember particularly one girl who always says she can only hike on public holiday or sunday. So when I did arrange according to her need and when the day came, she had the most unacceptable excuse.saying she a run on that day or they had a holiday plan on that day. I mean you made the request, didnt you marked your calender?  So now I have to be very careful and would not go all the way just to please some people. If they wants a favour they should meet my schedule and not the other way round.
Of course not all request are unreasonable. For instances I have people asking me to take down some photos which they say did not show their best side. I could not see any flaws on the photos, but since they insisted, I complied. I even had a guy saying the photo showed him with a missing tooth. That's understandable and I removed it without question.
So from these stories you can see, I will do what is necessary if  I request such request. But if I have not been informed and you get upset and put the blame on me, then it is not been fair to me.
Don't you agreed. Sometimes what I deem right might not be to you. So let me know.  Of course I will take some care in order not to embarrasse anyone. I have the best intention in mind whenever I shared something, particulary those that are closed to my hearts and bring special memory to me.
So do let me know so that I can do what is right, I do value your friendship. Please don't cut me off.Thank you guys for the memories and all the best wishes for the coming year.
Lesson learnt: It doesnt pay to be nice. Not everyone appreciate it.

RIGHT WORDS

I guess I have to changed my writting style.My choices of words are not good and had caused some confusion. .Some of my word choice are meant to be a figure of speech and not to be taken literally.Even the drama does not help
 My bad. Good thing I am not doing this for a living, otherwise I will have to find a new job.

Have been getting some good sleep lately and without dreams.. This  means I am sleeping more.

science says so here

Which also means if we have dreams then we are not sleeping enough. Wonder why we dream, when we don't remember them anyway.However the scary ones, we can remember, like those falling off cliffs. or stabbed by someone.We will be waken with a jolt and in cold sweat too?

I am very particular about my sleep .I would be in bed by 10.00 pm or 11.00pm latest.Any later than that I would have a difficult time sleeping later.  Another reasons I make sure I get enough sleep is when I have to get up early the next day for an event,be it hiking or a run. I found out a few time, the consequences when I did not get my quality sleep. Felt drizzy during my hikes and even throw out. so I am now very careful and discipline and make sure I sleep on time.

HOW TO NOT CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINK

Steps

1. 
   1
   Stop over-thinking. Most of the time, when you think you are being judged, you probably aren't. It's just too hard to judge every single person you meet, analyzing their flaws and imperfections like they're a test you're grading.

   • One way to test this is to push your limits a little and do something that is a bit out of the ordinary for you. See how people react. Chances are that only your “friends” will notice the change and make comments, but a random stranger really won’t care.
   • Learn to catch yourself when you start over-thinking. Recognize this pattern of abuse and do something to overcome it. For example, every time you over-think, force yourself to compliment an aspect of your personality. This should help to give you a better self-esteem:
     • "Thinking is good. I pay attention to all the little details. I notice things that other people don't notice, but I should use this ability to be positive, not negative."
     • "I care about being good at something. No one can achieve perfection, but I try to put my best foot forward. If I fail or under perform, it's not like I didn't try. That's all I can do."
     • "I care about principles. I have values, and I try to live by them. The world doesn't always work the way I want it to, but that doesn't mean that I'll stop trying. I will accept it when it doesn't."
   Ad
2. 
   2
   Put things into perspective. People who obsess about what others think tend to put ‘issues’ under the microscope and can't see the forest for the trees. People who don't obsess about what other people think tend to look at the big picture. You only get one chance at life; are you going to allow other people’s thoughts to make it less enjoyable? Sounds silly now, doesn’t it.

   • Give it some time. Apart from the fact that life really is too short to worry about things like this, the other aspect is that people’s feelings change. For example, say one moment people insult you for wearing yellow shoes, giving you the impression you shouldn’t wear them. What if this person's opinion changes, and they start wearing yellow shoes themselves? People change their minds, so what they think now might not matter in the future.
   • Make a list of all the things that you are grateful for. Putting it into a list really helps. It makes things tangible, more real. Once you see everything that has gone right for you — maybe your family, your intelligence, your health — you begin to realize that life is more about what you do have than what you don'thave. Be appreciative of what life gives you, not resentful of what it doesn't.
   • Take pleasure in the small things in life. Begin to see beauty in everyday things, like a child playing with a dog. Take comfort in everyday things, like a warm cup of tea. Find happiness in everyday things, like a story about overcoming hardship, told by your friend.

   full article here

   http://www.wikihow.com/Not-Care-What-People-Think

I think I need to do no.4

MY THOUGHTS FOR TODAY

Today is a sad day for me, as I got the reply from someone . The reply was long overdue ,but I do respect her for her response. At least I got the answer from her, though, not what I wanted to hear. Anyway everyone is entitled to their choice. I am writting not to critise her.What has been done cannot be undone. But if I can turn back time, I  would certainly not write what I wrote, which was at the spur of the moment and done in haste. As per her request I have taken down most of the post which has some negative impact. Others which are of general view, I had left it alone.

 I was not aware my presence at our last gathering had cause some unhappiness, and I had offended them. Anyway I sent my appologies to them(hopfully did not left anyone out) It was not my intention to hurt anybody. Maybe I am a bit blunt and insensive and not smart enough to read their body language.  I had lost a good friend, one whom I respect, admired and very fond of. I do not want to lose any more friends. But it is their choice and if they choose to unfriend me or avoid me, nothing I can do. I have done my best and my conscience is clear. And I do appreciate friends who can point out my fault.Sometimes we are unaware our actions can be an offend to others. Thank you for your honesty. Appreciate it really.This is from the bottom of my heart and I wished you the best.But i do missed her terribly and really wished for a miracle. 

Ps: Lesson learnt. sometimes our best intention, can be misinterpreted and the same can be turn against us.

A HUMBLING LESSON

I was supposed to visit sifu, a few days ago, but was not able to, because she had visitors and prior dinner enggagement. So last nite was her free day, as she was not suppose to do extreme sports and excercise. We made an appointment for dinner around 7.30pm or so but I was caught in a bad jam and worst I overshot passed her house. Usually I will totally rely on waze to take me to places I am not familiar with. I have been to her place a couple of times and passed by her housing area when ever to go to putra jaya, so I was so confidence I could find it.  Unfortunately I bypassed it and only reliase it too late and there was no u-turn back.It was a long drive all the way to putra jaya before I could get to her house. By the time I got there, it was too late and we had to wait for anothter rock climbing friend, who was to meet up to inspect some of her rock climbing equipments which she had bought on line. We chat abit while waiting for the friend to show up. Over the years, we had gone beyond sifu-member relationship. We had become very good friends .Further more we shared some similiar hobbies, like hiking and rock climbing. Having a meal after her class with some other members was quite a regular thing. I have  read it is not advisable to have our meal after 7.00pm or so, but sleeping on an empty stomach is hard. I tried eating a meal before class a few times- big mistakes, it makes me so uncomfortable during the class.Not only I was not able to enjoy the class, I was not able to put in my best. So now I will have my dinner after class. Finally the friend arrived.
Together with went through inspecting them and learnt some fine points of checking and taking care of the equipment. After an hour we were done and the friend left ,since he had dinner earlier.Only the two of us had dinner at a nearby Indian restaurant.
What lesson did I learnt ? Well never to be over confident and never be afraid to seek help if you need it.


Note:Good friends are hard to find. value them.


some of the items she bought and we did the checking.

carabiner

Quickdraws

Climbing rope

What is it like to love someone who forgets you?

Dementia, is a terible  sickness, so sad if you can remember your loved one.


For Sazlina Yusof (name changed), one of the hardest decisions the family made was to sell their car to prevent her father from taking off without the family’s knowledge.

“He was very persistent about wanting to leave the house and we cannot allow him to do so,” said the 41-year-old, adding that he has fled the home on several occasions.

He’s lost his memory and cannot recall the family members. “He doesn’t remember any of us,” she adds sadly.

Dementia, which characterises a range of symptoms including a decline in memory and thinking skills, can negatively affect a person’s ability to perform their daily activities.

Few are diagnosed in the early stages, and many only seek treatment at a later stage.

With dementia, the challenges are monumental for the patient. However, caregivers themselves are faced with their own set of challenges, where emotional scars are often left unknown to others.

Apart from the physical and emotional toll on caregivers, families are also left to make tough decisions for their dementia-stricken loved ones, including taking their rights away to ensure their safety.

 “I kept my father confined and he gets very upset about it. He has also lost the perception that the house is his home and felt that he was held in a place against his wishes,” said Sazlina.

original story here

A TIRED NIGHT.

Wednesday night was suppose to do rock climbing with sifu, but because she injured her ankle during one of the hike the previous week, on doctor's advice she has to stay away from such sport and as well as teaching her class. So I went to another gym for Body combat class. It was very tiring for me, all because I had not been working out for the past few days. I felt so exhausted after the class.
A few days without workout can makes the different to our stamina.
On checking my Fb, saw Snow, my second God daughter's message.That really makes me forgot my fatigue.
She is currently working in Australia. She expressed regret she was unable to write long messages,as she had to work till late and get home around 10.00pm  then she had to rush off for a second job. She only get to sleep a couple of hours and then have to get out of bed by 5.30am the next day. Poor girl. I really feel for her. Seems like she have to work long hours and made do with little sleep. She signed off  with a request I sent her regards to the rest of the family members. So thoughtful of her.The last time she wrote was a few months ago, her birthday month to be exact.She wanted me to renew her driving licence, which I did and courier back to her.
Yes, I do missed her,but I guess she wont be coming home anytime soon. In the meantime, I will just be contented with her customary short text.